Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Green mimosas i think yes
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
