I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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