Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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