Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Dick very happy bro
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
