So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
