he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
