dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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