super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
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