Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
