Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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