love makes seman taste better
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
