after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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