I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
The air was thick with penises
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
