"it" just moved
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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