420 ftw
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
