He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
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