okay pat passed out under dana's car
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
