That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize