I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
