Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize