Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
