i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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