Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
