in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
