He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
