I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
