if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
