spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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