Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
