i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
