dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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