strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
