I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
