maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
