Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Randomize
