I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
