What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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