If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
