Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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