College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
