yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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