did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize