We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
