you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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