why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
