It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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