i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
