We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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