Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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