i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
