SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
