I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
