Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize