If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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