....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
