I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize