i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
