Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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