In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
