My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
