fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize