I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
