Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
